A Greenie... try not to faint from the shock. :D

Doctor: ... "Miss Firth I have bad news, you have an enlarged prostate."

Step right up folks, see the bearded “lady,” and Jojo the dog-faced boy. Don’t miss Thelma the lizard queen, she walks, she talks, she crawls on her belly like a reptile.

Not in Scotland but I’ll opine that Dick needs a shave.