Abortion battle is spiritual and dependent on God: Mary Wagner

I was so pleased to meet Mary Wagner last fall after she was recently released from prison. I think of Mary as a saint, devotedly doing God’s work to be a voice for the voiceless. Mary graciously answered my questions, and now, in time for the month of May, I share them with you.

Can you tell a bit about the first time you approached a woman, breaking bubble zone laws, to offer her help? Did you know what to expect, were you afraid, confident...? 

In January of 1999, I met a 16-year-old-girl sitting at the bottom of the steps of Holy Rosary Cathedral. She was passively begging and I began talking with her. We spoke for several minutes, until at one point she told me that she was pregnant. She shared that her boyfriend, who was across the street, was in favour of aborting the child, though she was not so sure.

This is quite a long story, however it is worth sharing because God’s hand can be seen so clearly: I met this girl immediately after [I received] spiritual direction, and in obedience to the counsel I was given (to pray about what I believed God was clearly showing me I should do), I was to go to where the children are being killed and be a voice for them. For one month after meeting this adolescent, my parents and I offered all the help one could possibly think of (including accommodation in my parents’ home) for her to receive the gift which was her child. However, her boyfriend controlled her and he took her to the killing place on Granville Street a month after we met. 

Aware of the appointment the day prior, I met them outside the killing place the morning of the scheduled abortion, hoping against hope for a change of heart. (I had asked my friend to come with me and to pray outside; I was filled with trepidation and knew that we needed prayer support).

I went inside with [the couple], because what had become so clear to me was that I could not abandon her and her baby. It was not, and is not, about breaking bubble zone laws, but about “Remain with me” (Jn 15:4), although at the time, my faith did not recognize this as clearly.

I did not know exactly what I would do or say, but I wanted to try to stand by my young friend and to protect the baby as long as I could. I had the sense that if it came down to it, I would try to stand between the mother and child and what was threatening them. This is what happened.

I attempted to persuade a mother we met inside, the first one called for the killing of her little one. The abortion staff called the police after trying to get me to leave, however I was convinced that the right thing to do was to stay, not to walk away from the mothers and the babies, so even when the police came and tried to convince me to leave, I stayed there, standing in the hallway.

The police escorted me out and arrested me, after they had already arrested Sissy von Dehn, who had simply been standing and praying on the sidewalk outside the bubble zone.

How do you prepare as you approach women? 

I attend an early Mass and pray with those who join me, and as I go to the women, ask the Holy Spirit to work and speak in me, and to touch the mothers’ hearts, to give them light and love for their littlest ones.

The daily Rosary has long been important to me, although I find it a challenge to pray. Silent prayer, lectio divina and the Divine Office, once I can access the Bible and the breviary (in jail), are precious to me also. It is a joy when others want to pray together, too. I like to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as well, and the Angelus. Regular time for silent prayer, when one seeks to place everything aside to be in his Presence, to return to the simple, profound reality that He Is and He is Love, desiring to love and be loved, is invaluable, and preferably, if possible, in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

How do women respond to you? Have any walked out of the hospital/clinic with you? Have you faced aggression, or responses that surprised you?

The response from the women varies, however the most common is either to ignore or to decline communicating. Some are willing to talk about what their reasons are for planning to abort or their concerns regarding welcoming their babies into their lives. On the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe in 2017, I met a woman in the hallway outside a killing place who had intended to abort her baby. Providence intervened and she could only make an appointment. However, by the time we were back on the street together, she had had a change of heart and decided then and there not to allow that to happen to her baby... I’ve been told there have been women who have decided against abortion without my awareness after I had been removed by police.

Yes, I have faced aggression: physical and verbal aggression from abortion staff on several occasions, emotional aggression and physical threats from some fathers of the babies, and also physical aggression from a post-abortive grandmother of a child who had just been aborted. We should never be surprised by these kinds of reactions, because those who are determined to continue facilitating the killings are being confronted with the stark truth of the evil in which they are participating and they do not welcome that reminder.

Part 2

I think I read that you consider your time in prison a type of ministry. What sort of experiences do you have with women there, having spent almost five years in jail?

We have a lot of time together; we walk, crochet, or do bead work, play volleyball on  weekends sometimes. Most of the women are sociable. Most of our exchanges are quite ordinary, and many of the women are happy to have someone to talk with, someone who will listen to them. There are always some who want to pray and/or read the word of God together, and the last few months that I was at Alouette Correctional Centre for Women there was a little group of us that gathered daily. It is not taboo in the jail “community” to discuss one’s faith, and very seldom is one opposed in bringing up God or faith in discussion.

Mother Teresa wrote of often feeling alone.  Do you ever feel that God has called you to a type of ministerial loneliness?

Yes, sometimes I do believe this, and if it is his will, then I accept that it is a gift from him, to have this sense, although in reality we are actually never alone. At the same time, I do believe that God is calling many others to love him and to follow him in a similar way, suggesting a “togetherness” might very well be characterized by a certain “loneliness.”

What do you think the future of the pro-life movement is? Do you ever feel like typical pro-life work is off track or unfocussed?

I really believe that as Christians it is important to make the shift from thinking in terms of a “pro-life movement” to the Church’s call to live the Gospel of Life. The rational argument can be made and the intellect should adhere to the truth when it is presented clearly. However, we see on this massive scale a refusal to listen to rational argument. I believe that one of the reasons is that so many have been wounded by the choice to kill an unborn baby and have not even begun the road of repentance and reconciliation. The trauma and suffering are suppressed, and when we do this, it festers.

One of our challenges as a Church is to speak the truth in love and to help all of us to face our responsibility for the killing of these littlest ones, yet within the light of the mercy of God. There are many signs of hope: the beautiful Sisters of Life, post-abortion ministries, crisis pregnancy centres, and the many who remain in prayer and who reach out in love outside the killing places. Of course, hope can be found wherever the Gospel is being lived authentically, and one of the most important places is in the home, in family life, that microcosm of society. The culture of life begins in the home.

As for the future, unless we “repent and believe,” God will leave us to continue further along the path of destruction and desolation. What is needed is the grace of a broken heart, so God can refashion our hearts to be after his own heart. Prayer is fundamental, as ultimately our battle is spiritual. And our prayer must be first and foremost one which approaches God in humble adoration, wherein we seek him above all else. Abortion and all the problems we face stem from the initial injustice of failing to adore God, to let him be first in our lives.

Do you suffer for the loss of the unborn, and the suffering that the women go through because of the abortions, or are you able to stay detached in some way? I’m trying to imagine the emotional suffering you possibly go through.

Sometimes I am more obviously affected than at other times, and it usually depends on the depth of the personal connection with the mothers. What is very difficult is the hardness of heart we encounter. Sometimes there is this sense of “overload” which results in a sort of numbness. From my conversations with women who are post-abortive, they too can experience a sort of numbness as a result of this trauma.  What has become clear is that the human heart is vulnerable and it should remain that way, although the natural tendency is towards self-protection from injury. When suffering is intense or prolonged, we are being especially challenged to stay close to God, and not rely on our own strength or coping skills, and to “seek his face”, drawing close to Mary, the “Stabat Mater”, who, unlike Hagar who turned away from her son whose thirst in the desert she could not quench, stood by him, drinking from the same bitter cup.

Regarding consolation, I know that as long as there is life, there is hope, both on the physical and spiritual levels, and I also believe that God weaves any suffering we endure and offer to him into his salvific work.