From Fr. Richard Heilman, Pine Bluff, Wisconsin:
CORONAVIRUS BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ST. MARY'S
The Office of Worship for the Diocese of Madison has given directives regarding the liturgy and the transmission of the coronavirus.
Effective Immediately, at St. Mary of Pine Bluff:
1. We will refrain from offering the Sign of Peace. Oh wait, that’s right, we discontinued that umpteen years ago.
2. We will not hold hands during the Our Father. Oh wait, that’s right, we never added that modern innovation, in the first place.
3. We will not share the Precious Blood. Oh wait, that’s right, I can’t even recall the last time this was done here.
4. Extraordinary Ministers will wash their hands prior to distributing. Oh wait, that’s right, we stopped the practice of using unnecessary Eucharistic Ministers for over a decade now. Okay, then, well, just don’t touch anyone. Come visit us at "Sanitary St. Mary's"