WEBVTT

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Lach<00:00:01.300>-Matt<00:00:01.640> mit<00:00:01.960> Bayern<00:00:02.340> 1.<00:00:03.500> Die<00:00:03.640> Crème<00:00:03.880> de<00:00:04.019> la<00:00:04.200> Crème<00:00:04.420> um<00:00:04.780> dreiviertel<00:00:05.480> zehn.

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Heute<00:00:06.820> unsere<00:00:07.460> bayerische<00:00:08.280> Mona<00:00:08.700> Lisa.<00:00:09.720> Monika<00:00:10.180> Gruber.

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Gott<00:00:12.659> sei<00:00:13.059> Dank,<00:00:13.399> endlich<00:00:13.779> wieder<00:00:14.079> daheim.

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den<00:00:26.520> Fernseher<00:00:26.900> gekauft<00:00:27.100> hab,<00:00:27.340> also<00:00:27.920> lesen<00:00:28.420> wollen,<00:00:29.020> und<00:00:29.120> der<00:00:29.200> ist<00:00:29.360> so<00:00:29.600> flach,<00:00:30.040> dass du<00:00:30.120> ihn<00:00:30.160> von<00:00:30.260> der

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Seite<00:00:30.660> gar<00:00:30.880> nicht<00:00:31.000> mehr<00:00:31.260> siehst.

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Nein,<00:00:32.960> wenn's<00:00:33.180> schön<00:00:33.420> macht,<00:00:34.240> wurscht.

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Auf<00:00:34.980> jeden<00:00:35.200> Fall<00:00:35.480> war<00:00:35.700> ich<00:00:35.900> auf<00:00:36.000> der<00:00:36.220> Suche<00:00:36.480> nach<00:00:36.620> einer<00:00:36.880> Wii<00:00:37.260>-Konsole.

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Ich hab<00:00:38.260> keine<00:00:38.420> Ahnung,<00:00:38.620> was<00:00:38.780> das<00:00:39.000> ist,<00:00:39.680> aber<00:00:39.740> mein<00:00:39.880> kleiner<00:00:40.120> Neffe,<00:00:41.040> der wünscht<00:00:41.340> sich<00:00:41.540> das<00:00:41.720> schon

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lang.

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Ja,<00:00:42.560> und<00:00:42.640> nächste<00:00:42.840> Woche,<00:00:43.240> da<00:00:43.440> hat<00:00:43.520> er<00:00:43.660> Erstkommunion.

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Seine<00:00:44.700> Eltern<00:00:44.940> haben's<00:00:45.240> zwar<00:00:45.400> verboten,<00:00:45.880> dass<00:00:45.900> er<00:00:46.060> das<00:00:46.260> komische<00:00:46.740> WD<00:00:47.100>-Dings<00:00:47.260> da<00:00:47.540> kriegt.

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Jetzt<00:00:48.400> kauf<00:00:48.600> sie<00:00:48.740> die<00:00:49.080> und<00:00:49.240> die<00:00:49.460> Tante,<00:00:50.060> weil<00:00:50.140> für<00:00:50.320> so<00:00:50.440> was<00:00:50.560> hat<00:00:50.680> man<00:00:50.900> ja<00:00:51.100> eine<00:00:51.180> Tante,<00:00:51.620> schon<00:00:51.760> klar.

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Ich<00:00:52.500> hab<00:00:52.700> dann<00:00:52.840> den<00:00:53.000> Verkäufer<00:00:53.380> gefragt,<00:00:53.980> sie,<00:00:54.420> was<00:00:54.660> tut<00:00:54.820> man<00:00:55.020> denn<00:00:55.100> mit<00:00:55.300> seiner<00:00:55.520> Dingskonsole?

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Muss<00:00:57.000> man<00:00:57.200> da<00:00:57.700> hundert<00:00:58.180> blutrünstige<00:00:59.120> Zombies<00:00:59.580> umbringen?

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Braucht<00:01:00.280> man<00:01:00.460> dazu<00:01:00.680> wieder<00:01:00.900> so<00:01:01.080> ein<00:01:01.180> geschissenes<00:01:01.820> Laserschwert?

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Sagt<00:01:02.960> er,<00:01:03.360> nein,<00:01:03.620> da<00:01:03.640> tut<00:01:03.820> man<00:01:03.980> mehr<00:01:04.200> so<00:01:04.740> Tennis<00:01:05.220>-<00:01:05.340> und<00:01:05.440> Ski<00:01:05.740>-Abfahrt.

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Wir<00:01:12.700> sind<00:01:13.160> ehrlich,<00:01:13.759> im<00:01:13.800> Vergleich<00:01:14.160> zu<00:01:14.400> dem,<00:01:14.840> was<00:01:15.039> die<00:01:15.280> anderen<00:01:15.479> Kinder<00:01:15.780> kriegen,

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ist<00:01:16.220> das<00:01:16.440> ja quasi<00:01:17.000> ein<00:01:17.280> Almosen.

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Da<00:01:18.160> sind<00:01:18.340> welche<00:01:18.560> dabei,<00:01:19.320> die<00:01:19.440> kriegen<00:01:19.700> zur<00:01:20.020> Erstkommunion<00:01:20.920> ein<00:01:21.380> Reitpferd,

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ein<00:01:22.820> gar<00:01:22.940> geschlampertes<00:01:23.560> Pony.

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Ein<00:01:24.440> richtiges<00:01:25.040> Pferdl.<00:01:26.160> Und<00:01:26.460> Geld.

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Aber<00:01:27.500> nicht<00:01:27.660> wie<00:01:27.800> wir<00:01:28.140> früher.

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Ein<00:01:28.860> Zehner<00:01:29.060> von<00:01:29.200> der<00:01:29.340> Oma<00:01:29.620> mit<00:01:29.780> den<00:01:29.960> Worten,

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ich<00:01:30.680> darf<00:01:30.920> ja<00:01:31.040> nicht<00:01:31.200> alles<00:01:31.400> so<00:01:31.580> vor<00:01:31.700> mir<00:01:31.820> ausgeben,<00:01:32.240> gell?

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Nein,<00:01:33.480> ich<00:01:33.500> kenn<00:01:33.720> Kinder,<00:01:34.400> da<00:01:34.520> warst's<00:01:35.000> eine<00:01:35.200> vierstellige<00:01:36.020> Summe<00:01:36.360> einer.

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Ich frag<00:01:37.280> mich,<00:01:37.500> was<00:01:37.600> wüsste<00:01:37.840> die<00:01:37.940> Schinger,<00:01:38.260> wenn<00:01:38.280> die<00:01:38.420> 18<00:01:38.780> wären?

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Schloss<00:01:39.540> Neuschwanstein<00:01:40.220> oder<00:01:40.420> was?

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Dabei<00:01:41.600> ist<00:01:41.800> die<00:01:42.000> Erstkommunion<00:01:42.700> ja<00:01:42.840> heute<00:01:42.980> für<00:01:43.120> die<00:01:43.280> meisten<00:01:43.580> Kinder

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nur<00:01:44.060> der<00:01:44.300> Punkt,<00:01:44.860> an<00:01:44.920> dem<00:01:45.000> sie<00:01:45.220> endlich<00:01:45.680> in<00:01:45.820> die<00:01:45.860> Meinkirche<00:01:46.300> gehen<00:01:46.420> müssen.

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Aber<00:01:47.075> an<00:01:47.275> dem<00:01:47.475> Tag,<00:01:47.755> da<00:01:48.095> wird<00:01:48.255> noch<00:01:48.395> mal<00:01:48.555> alles<00:01:48.855> mobilisiert,<00:01:50.295> da stehen dann<00:01:50.475> die<00:01:50.615> ganzen<00:01:50.995> konfessionslosen

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Onkel<00:01:52.255> in<00:01:52.435> leicht<00:01:52.755> entflammbaren<00:01:53.415> Triviera<00:01:53.915>-Anzüge<00:01:54.335> mit<00:01:54.535> den<00:01:54.835> riesen<00:01:55.275> Videokameras<00:01:55.935> vom<00:01:56.135> Altar<00:01:56.755> und

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filmen<00:01:57.635> alles<00:01:57.995> mit<00:01:58.255> von<00:01:58.475> den<00:01:58.715> neuen<00:01:58.975> Lackschuhen<00:01:59.515> vom<00:01:59.675> Bubi<00:02:00.295> über<00:02:00.595> Krampfadern<00:02:01.215> von<00:02:01.415> der<00:02:01.555> Oma<00:02:01.875> bis

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zur<00:02:02.355> kleinsten<00:02:02.835> Weihrauchfahne.

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Und<00:02:04.395> damit<00:02:04.615> Sie<00:02:04.755> das<00:02:04.935> in<00:02:05.035> ein<00:02:05.175> paar<00:02:05.315> Jahren<00:02:05.515> Partykehler<00:02:06.075> von<00:02:06.295> der<00:02:06.455> Tante<00:02:06.715> Hilde<00:02:06.995> anschauen<00:02:07.295> können.

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Zusammen<00:02:08.435> mit<00:02:08.595> dem<00:02:08.835> Hochzeitsvideo.

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Vom<00:02:09.980> Cousin<00:02:10.320> Roberti<00:02:10.860> und<00:02:11.020> seiner<00:02:11.240> Piggy.

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Die<00:02:12.100> sind<00:02:12.240> natürlich<00:02:12.580> auch<00:02:12.840> beide<00:02:13.080> sofort<00:02:13.520> nach<00:02:13.840> der<00:02:14.020> kirchlichen<00:02:14.380> Trauung<00:02:14.760> aus<00:02:14.880> der<00:02:15.020> Kirche<00:02:15.240> austreten.

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Logisch,<00:02:16.660> wenn<00:02:16.800> man<00:02:16.940> das<00:02:17.080> halt<00:02:17.260> so macht<00:02:17.560> heutzutage.

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Hauptsache,<00:02:19.520> man<00:02:19.620> hat<00:02:19.740> 30<00:02:20.080> Puntschwaas<00:02:20.880> Bratkleid<00:02:21.380> im<00:02:21.460> Schrank,<00:02:21.860> 18<00:02:22.180> Videofilme<00:02:22.860> und<00:02:23.320> den<00:02:23.540> Thermomix,

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den<00:02:24.440> man<00:02:24.540> sich<00:02:24.700> zur<00:02:24.920> Hochzeit<00:02:25.280> gewünscht<00:02:25.660> hat.

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Aber<00:02:26.960> mei,<00:02:27.580> die<00:02:27.740> sage<00:02:27.900> ich<00:02:28.100> mir,<00:02:28.640> ich<00:02:28.720> muss<00:02:28.860> ja<00:02:29.000> nicht<00:02:29.100> alles<00:02:29.280> verstehen.

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Preisgekrönte<00:02:31.461> Komiker<00:02:32.001> und<00:02:32.281> Kabarettisten,<00:02:33.501> jeden<00:02:33.661> Tag<00:02:34.001> um<00:02:34.261> drei<00:02:34.521> Viertel<00:02:34.861> zehn,<00:02:35.481> exklusiv<00:02:36.221> auf<00:02:36.521> Bayern<00:02:36.761> 1.