Neologism (new word usage) contest - winning submissions

The Washington Post has an annual neologism (new word usage) contest. Here are some of the winning submissions:

coffee (n.) - the person upon whom one coughs.

flabbergasted (adj.) - appalled over how much weight you have gained.

abdicate (v.) - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

esplanade (v.) - to attempt an explanation while drunk.

negligent (adj.) - describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

lymph (v.) - to walk with a lisp.

gargoyle (n.) - gross, olive-flavored mouthwash.

balderdash (n.) - a rapidly receding hairline.

frisbeetarianism (n.) - the belief that when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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