Neologism (new word usage) contest - winning submissions
coffee (n.) - the person upon whom one coughs.
flabbergasted (adj.) - appalled over how much weight you have gained.
abdicate (v.) - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
esplanade (v.) - to attempt an explanation while drunk.
negligent (adj.) - describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
lymph (v.) - to walk with a lisp.
gargoyle (n.) - gross, olive-flavored mouthwash.
balderdash (n.) - a rapidly receding hairline.
frisbeetarianism (n.) - the belief that when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.